Remember Lot’s Wife!

We are gathered here today,

In loving memory,

Of Lot’s nameless wife,

Who looked back when told to flee.

Oh, you wicked woman,

Nameless wife of “righteous” Lot,

Girl, what were you thinking?

Now you are a pillar of salt!

Why didn’t you just flee in fear?

Like your husband, “righteous” Lot.

Oh no, you just HAD to look,

Now you are a pillar of salt!

We console the husband of the deceased,

Our very own righteous Lot.

You are not very courageous,

But at least you are not a pillar of salt!

You are hospitable to strangers,

We grant you that “righteous” Lot.

You lack somewhat as a father,

But at least you are not a pillar of salt!

And we console the two nameless daughters,

Of our very own “righteous” Lot.

Your dad offered you once to be gangraped,

But at least you are not a pillar of salt!

Now as to that tasteless rumor,

That you had sex with your father “righteous Lot”.

Don’t you girls give it a thought,

At least you are not a pillar of salt!

And now folks, let us bow and pray,

For these nameless girls, and their father “righteous” Lot.

And remember kids not to peek during prayer!

So God does not turn you into a pillar of salt!

(If the reader doubts this content,

Or if you think to God I have been mean.

Just open your very own Bible

And read Genesis chapter nineteen!)

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