Guest Editorial: Book of Cami 2:15-29

(NOTE:  The following is an editorial from the mind and the pen of my oldest son Micah.  Proud to Re-Post!!  Davey Lee):
And so, after creating the infants, I placed them in a pretty sweet pad: The House of Eden. And in the house I did place a multitude of toys, and sockets flowing with live electrical current, for I knew the infants would be into that sort of thing. And for the infants’ protection, I did place in the sockets socket covers, so that the infants wouldst not jam their tiny philanges into the live electrical current. I placed these in all of the sockets save for one, The Socket of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. But it was totally okay, for I warned the infants (who had no concept of what was good for them), “Listen up, babies! Thou mayest play with any of the toys in this house, but playest thou not with the Socket of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, which is this socket RIGHT HERE.” I did point to the socket to illustrate its location. “For in the day thou stickest thine fingers in it, thou shalt surely die. And just to be clear, by ‘Thou shalt die,’ I mean, ‘Thee and all of thine descendants in subsequent generations after thee shall suffer eternally in a pit of unspeakable torment, full of fire and brimstone, wherein there shall be much wailing and gnashing of gums, unless of course I can hatch a long-winded and inefficient plan to save perhaps a few of you fortunate enough to choose correctly from a plethora of religions and denominations. And all of this shall come to pass not because you have broken anything I can’t easily fix, for as the Master Of The Universe I can fix pretty much anything, but because I shall be royally pissed at you, in Mine Infinite Mercy.” And in their beady little eyes and slack-jawed drooling expressions I saw that they understood. “One other thing,” said I, “Whilst we’re on the topic of of things you shouldn’t be sticking in other things, rememberest thee that I made thee Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. So, y’know, don’t be gay, for it grosseth me out. Okay babies, I wouldst love to stay and chat, but I have Heavenly Things to attend to, so I must now physically transport Mine Omnipresent Self to a different physical location, leaving thee to thine own devices for an unspecified amount of time. Fare thee well, babies! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” And as I rocketed off toward Mine Magical Kingdom in the stratosphere on Mine Turbo-Powered Cloud Motorcycle, jamming Rich Mullins’s “(My God Is An) Awesome God,” of which I totally manifested for Mineself a pre-release copy, I thought to Mineself, “Hmm… Mayhap I should have warned them about the talking snake I left in the den… Nah, I don’t make mistakes. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”Book of Çami 2:15-29

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